Parenting and Children
Parenting is the promoting and supporting of intellectual, social, emotional, and physical development of a child to adulthood.
Is call of duty 5 OK for kids with blood and cuss turned off?
I do not believe you can turn those off, yet it depends what age range the kids are, I am 12, and play it, because there's only like 5 curses in the game, and then the multiplayer has 100% clean language, and something you could say, don't say it's blood, say it's jelly. Maybe you shouldn't play it at all. It IS rated M, after all. M(Mature)-17+ However, no one ever seems to care about the rating, so you're probably in the clear to play. But seriously, if you're offended by cussing and blood in video games, then don't play this because this is a war game, which means lots of killing.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Clothing
What should you do if your son likes to wear girl's clothing?
Talk to him about it. Ask him why he does it. Offer to help him buy clothes or to have his own so he quits stealing yours or your daughters'. If he is embarrassed and doesn't really want to discuss it, it is probably a sexual thing that he would prefer to keep private, and at least he knows that you are willing to discuss it if necessary. If he is nonchalant or professes to enjoy the feeling of the fabric and such, then it is also a non-issue. He simply likes how the under-things feel, and it is unlikely to be associated with a sexual obsession if he discusses it openly in this manner. This is the easiest way out. If he embraces the idea, wants to dress entirely and prefers being and acting like a girl, perhaps it is time to get a gender-issues professional involved to decide how to best proceed. Whatever you do, don't put distance between yourself and him or make him feel like he has done something wrong. Wanting to wear nice feeling fabrics, or wanting to dress entirely, is not something that any amount of punishment, the silent treatment, or Bible passages will cure. He will just feel guilty and despondent in private and learn not to go to you when he encounters other more important issues like sex or drugs. I learned not to confide in my parents because of their judgment over this issue and had to go-it-alone in some difficult young-adult situations as a result. In perspective, it is harmless. He just needs to keep in mind that not everyone is as open minded as you, and thus he should avoid making choices in this area that lead to difficult situations. (Such as wearing girls' clothes outside or to school could get him beat up.) Yes, it's unjust, but stuff happens. If his father would not understand, you can be his secret agent, covering for him in a tight spot and offering to "get away" to go shopping. He will absolutely love you for it. Here are more comments and shared experiences: Don't panic and assume you have a budding transvestite or gay child. Although that's not a bad thing, just a bit of a shock to ones system. The majority of young children like to dress up as the opposite sex. It's not unusual for a boy to want to wear moms' or sisters' "stuff." It's much like the playing house scenario that all kids do at one time or another. I have been dressing up since I was 6 & help from my mom one Halloween, after that I did it when ever I could away from my parents. During my growing up years I would do it when ever I got the chance. During my first marriage I did it when ever my wife was gone. I would dress up as sexy as I could from panties, bra, to wearing make-up. When I got married the 2nd time my wife had her thoughts, when she asked I told yes I love dressing up as a woman. She has helped me during our 14 years of marriage. I am a straight male who just loves dressing up as a woman. I have my own black silky panties, black stockings, bras, high heel shoes along with high heel boots, & my own make up & wigs. So what is wrong with it? My daughter loves to see her dad dressed up as a woman & even helps me also. My son also wanted to dress up in girls clothing (and his sister dressed him up as well). When he reached age 5, I told him that it was not appropriate for him to wear girls clothing. I was not angry, and I did not shame him, I told him matter of fact. I believe that we are responsible as parents to guide our children to behave the way God intended. It depends on the child's age. If you have an 8 year old then I would sit down and talk to them. But if your child is 5 or around that age then don't worry. My cousin pretends he has a bra. He's only three and it's unlikely he has a sexual fetish at that age. It's normal really. I dressed up like a boy when I was little some times. Its just apart of playing. Allow him to wear girl's clothing. Maybe even encourage him to. If girl's can dress like boys, there's no reason why boys can't dress like girls. Let him have his fun. My son dresses up with his sisters frequently. He's 9 now and has been having fun with dressing up since he was four. No big deal, just kid fun. I think you need to be very cautious as far as age and what they like to wear and why! I was allowed to dress up from age 4 or so and could do so as often as I wanted to. At age 8, I was still wearing sisters or moms older clothing. Then my Mother died and my Grandmother came into the scene and when she discovered my hobby she took me to the store and let me pick out my own clothing and lingerie. By age 13 I was dressing on a daily basis wearing nylon panties and a bra with false breasts, a nylon full slip, nylon stockings with a garter-belt if I wanted instead of pantyhose, little heels and feminine dresses with make-up and girl cut hair style. My first sexual experience was while I was wearing very sexy silky panties, a petticoat and square dance dress...I remember the material of the petticoat against my nylon covered legs and panties so sexy that I got an erection and had my first orgasm and have been using my lingerie for this purpose ever since. Now at 27 I live as a female and am sexually aroused every minute of my life and bring 5 to 6 pairs of panties in my purse to work because I will soil them while at work. I go to the ladies room and satisfy myself all day long. It is a curse and I cannot stop. So please consider this when letting little boys dress up. You women do not understand the addition of silky nylon against us and the sexual arousal that results from that silky material against our private parts. Like Lauren, I was "imprinted". My parents had a business that required them to be away from home, from Friday p.m. Until Mon about noon. I had a chance to be "sat" with by a neighbor. She very quickly told me I was going to be her "imprinting" experiment. She dressed me as a girl as soon as I came in, and I remained so until it was time to leave. I had several climaxes dressed this way. It was my introduction. I have no regrets. I wouldn't worry about it. My son loved to wear his sister's clothes and wanted me to curl his hair. We had lots of fun. He's 10 now and I could never get him in a dress! I would let him know that you love him and by all means, let him enjoy his life! Get information on the subject of Cross Dressing and study it yourself. Be prepared to help him handle this other side of his personality with discretion. These may be the happiest years of his life. He can learn to manage his life to include everything he loves and expects from it. The "phase" may pass, but I would caution you that it may not also. My mom caught me at 15 wearing my sister's pantyhose. She didn't talk about it but she started buying me boys bikinis especially ones that looked like panties. She also started putting my sister's panties in with my bikinis after laundering. Don't worry about it. My son has enjoyed dressing up with his sisters since he was 4. He's 10 now and he loves wearing dresses. He often wears dresses around the house and will sometimes go out to dinner or a movie or other activities in a dress. I have no problem with it; he can wear want he chooses. I have no idea if he gets any kind of sexual pleasure out of wearing girl's clothes and quite frankly, I don't care; that's his business not mine. If he ever wants to talk to me about it then my door is wide open. All 3 of my kids know that they can talk to me about anything at anytime. My son is still a boy and loves to play soccer and football with his friends. Some of his friends come over and play dress up with him and we have two or three 'cross-dressed' little boys running around the house and yard. It's no big deal, they're just having fun. I really don't understand this trip about 'boys don't wear dresses'. I say let boys wear what ever they want. My son is happy and healthy and that's what I care about most. Most boys like to wear panties, especially the girly silky kind. It's normal and lots of teen boys and even grown up men are into it and wish more girls/women were, and were more accepting. It's normal. Let it continue if the male wants. You don't see people freaking out if a girl wears a guy's shirt or boxers, so let boys wear panties and bras and so on if they want. It's fine and harmless. It's just clothes. I've always had a fascination with soft and silky feminine things. While in my teens, I thought I was the only guy in the world like this and I felt guilt. I told my wife before we married and she accepted it. Now I sleep in pretty nighties, and I wear panties under my regular clothes when I'm at home. I do most of the housework to 'earn' the right to wear pretty things. I guess I am a sissy maid. We are a very happy and long-married couple. The exact same thing you'd do if your daughter likes to wear boy's clothing. My son at the age of seven told me that he wanted to wear girls clothes like his sister's, Initially I sat him down and talked about it with him, firstly on his own, and then with his sisters present, each time we talked about the situation, he convinced me that this was what he truly wanted, so we set a date when he could make the change from wearing boys clothing to dressing as a girl, we decided to give it two weeks, firstly to see if he changed his mind and secondly to give me a chance to get some clothes for him to wear, once to two weeks had passed we again sat down and talked, and again he convinced us that this was what he wanted, so the following day we set to and dressed him in tights and a dress, this was three years ago, even today he still insists on being like a girl, I guess what I am trying to say is that for some boys this is natural, so I feel that by denying them the opportunity to experiment, then you are only building up more problems for them in later life There is absolutely nothing wrong with allowing a boy to experience and enjoy girls clothing. It will give him a better understanding of the opposite sex, what its like to dress like one and a better appreciation of what a girl goes through in order to look pretty. That appreciation will follow them into adult life, helping them to better relate to their female partner in life. It has for me and at over 50, I can honestly say my experience as a child, wearing girls' clothes was important and beneficial to me. I firmly believe that boys (of whatever age) who have expressed a desire to dress in girl's clothing, not only be allowed to do so, but be encouraged by parents and other family members. For very young children it really doesn't matter what is worn, but children over seven (the traditional age of reason) should be given a sympathetic hearing. Boys about twelve or older require particular understanding in finding self-expression through cross-dressing, rather than have them live in a constant state of adolescent frustration. The teen years are difficult under any circumstances. Parents must agree that such desires are both respectable and normal for their child. Single mothers with a son as an only child have a special responsibility. Preteens might be allowed to wear moms or sisters clothing, but teens should be allowed their own set of feminine attire. A boy's appearance as a girl should reflect both his age and body type. A shopping spree at the mall might collect the following items: Several dresses, short skirts, blouses and knee and ankle socks. For underwear, a selection of panties, both frilly and sheer, and a half slip. In each instance the final selection is his. Customers and sales persons will probably catch on, but so be it. A good rule of thumb for parents or guardians on this matter is, explain, when necessary, but never apologize. At home the new "daughter" might be encouraged to "dress up" but never required to do so. Initiative must come from the boy, who is allowed to "come along" at his own pace. Dressing as a girl should never be punitive or used as a reward. It is a privilege, extended out of love and understanding. Persons coming into the home should witness his new transformation, and most will accept it. Word will soon get around; it cannot be hidden from the wider world. But then, why should it be? When the time comes for his first public appearances dressed as a girl, the mother should assist him in taking his first "baby steps". Drives around town and drive-through lines at fast food places could be followed by short walks in parks or unfamiliar neighborhoods. Soon he will be accustomed to going out in public in short skirts or dresses and bare legs and will welcome such excursions. In so doing he will have demonstrated, with the help of his family, courage and self-confidence, and acquired a new spirit of self-esteem and self-image. What greater gift could parents give to their sons once they realize that for many boys dressing as girls fulfils a deep-seated psychological need? I have been a cross dresser for 30 years, I am now 45,let your sons dress up any way they would like it is only clothes, I told my mom when I was 15 that I wanted to wear her clothes and the clothes of my 3 sisters, she sit me down with my sisters and told me that it was OK with her and my sisters loved it, I am younger then my sisters , I am not married but would love to find a good woman who would let me dress up in her sexy clothes and do the house work for her, this is what I did for my mom and sisters and miss it a lot. It is not a problem. If girl can wearing what they are like. My son also wearing panties .He has 20panties.I also help him to choose the panties. Actually boys must wearing panties, bra and skirts also. My son wearing only panties. I tell him if he likes he can wear the bras, skirts etc. If he likes, I'll be the happiest mother in this world. I love my son very much. Loads of guys dress up for amusement purposes. It might all just have been blown out of proportion. Talk to him. It's the only way forward. I'm 21, and I've been dressing as a girl since I was about ten or eleven. I just recently started hormones to effectively change my body so I can live as what my mind says I am. It's not a fetish; I don't get off on it. I dress to pass as a woman in society as do most transsexuals. As far as just cross dressing goes from the majority I've met most do it to express there female side rather than to derive sexual pleasure from it. My mom caught me wearing my sister's clothes one day and she talked to me about it but that was it after that it was out of sight out of mind. I had to learn what I was on my own it made it very hard dealing with it, no one to talk to. Just recently my mom and I started to talk about it again because I started living almost exclusively as a woman. It took some time and a little work to get her to understand that it wasn't her fault nor was it mine or anyone else's, it was just one of natures little mistakes. Actually Opera just recently had a whole show on it and I showed it to my mom that's what made her realize. I only offer my story as insight into what could happen and possibly what not to do. Puberty is usually the time when this realization hits hardest if at all. Just be open with your child if he does feel that he should have been a girl forcing him away from it will only cause problems later on. Oh and another small piece of information for anyone thinking cross-dressing or transsexualism is in some way violating some law of God. The only mention in the bible of cross-dressing is a singular passage that says loosely quoted "A man shall not don the garb of a woman, nor should a woman wear a male's apparel." This being said it's actually a mistranslation from when the bible was transferred to English it really says "A man shall not wear the garb of a woman to enter a woman's tent, (fear of rape) and a woman shall not wear a man's garb to enter a temple. (Since women of the day where not aloud in the temples.) If anyone has any questions I am open to them, and sorry for the length and choppiness of this post I just got out of work. Well stop buying him girls clothing and buy him boy stuff. Talk to him about it and if he is old enough tell him it's not straight. Show him what boys like and wear. My son began "experimenting" with dressing in my underwear when he was around six or seven. Rather than call attention to it (thinking it would either shame him or make the desire stronger) I said nothing. Although I would notice regular "rearranging" of my lingerie drawer, I kept quiet. My husband was less than thrilled at the idea of Chris wearing my bras and panties, but I insisted that we simply let the "stage" pass, undetected. When he was about ten, I went into his bedroom to check on him and turn out his light. He was sound asleep when I went in. I noticed the lacy shoulder strap of one of my bras, peeking out from his covers. Peeling back the bedclothes, I discovered he was dressed in matching thong panties and bra. He woke up and realized that he was "caught" wearing his mother's underwear. He began to cry and explain that he was sorry and would never do it again. I surprise him (and myself) when I sat down on his bed, held him in my arms and told him that it was perfectly fine to wear girl's clothes, at least as far as I was concerned. He was so relieved; he hugged me and asked if he could have his own bras and panties. I agreed. To make a long story short, he is now almost twenty years old and regularly dresses completely as a woman. He keeps himself slim, shaved and appropriately dressed, although he is not gay. He considers his dressing as a girl, as a fun hobby. I have no reason to think that I made the wrong decision with him. He is a well-adjusted, beautiful son who I am proud to call my own. If I had tried to interfere with him feminine curiosity, I believe that I would have crushed an essential part of his spirit. I am a traditional heterosexual person and the mother of a son who has tried on women's panties. This is the reason I looked up this topic and found this question. I would like my son to grow up to be a well-adjusted heterosexual man. I would like to know if some of the responses might be from bisexual or gay men or transvestites or cross-gender men. If so, please specify that. I want to encourage my son to go down the straight and narrow path. It seems bizarre to encourage this behavior. I would only encourage it if I knew it was a phase and that discouraging it would somehow make it worse. If you are honest enough in letting it be known that this type of behavior is 'OK' then please be honest enough to let me/us/the readers know from what perspective you are speaking. You should let him dress in whatever he wants at that age. To deny him will confuse him. He won't understand the difference of why he can dress like a cowboy, fireman, or clown, but not as a girl. Don't curtail his imagination, he will decide as he gets older if dressing like a girl is something he wants to do or (probably) not. When I was a little older, 11, one Thanksgiving evening, my mother and aunt decided it would be fun to dress up my cousin (a year younger) and me in dresses, make up, and wigs. We had dessert all dressed up nice and pretty. We got into little nighties that night and it was fun for us. A few weeks later I asked my mom if she would dress me up for Christmas and she did. The real surprise was just before New Years, she called me to her bedroom and pulled out a beautiful girl's party dress in pink with matching satin panties and bra, white tights, and shiny pink shoes. That was the most fun New Years I had experienced. She did older looking makeup, polished my nails, gave me some jewelry, and let me wear her best wig. We cooked dinner together and afterwards baked holiday cookies. I stayed in girls clothes that whole weekend. Even today at 27, my mom will come visit me by herself and I dress up nicely for her visit. We have gone clothes shopping together, went to a Broadway show (I wore a formal gown), went to a bridal expo, and even once went to a very upscale restaurant and had drinks at the cocktail lounge afterwards with me in my first sexy little black dress. I know that I would never have been as close to my mom if she never dressed me up, so I give thanks to that. Don't discourage your son, let him decide for himself soon enough. I caught my son, 12, dressed in girl's clothes, underwear and all, and I made a scene. He was crushed. Later I sat down and tried to figure out why I blew up. Just surprised? And I deeply regret what I did to him. Yes, single mother and I pushed him away. Since that time I have tried to mend my mistake, but have not made much headway. We talk about it a little, but he will not accept my offers of approving participation. We come close, but he is afraid of me. Now what! I forced him away. If I make him dress, can I bring him back? I would love to dress him and hold him and love him, tell him how sorry I am. Should I invite him to dress? Should I force him? You son is probably embarrassed at you catching him dressed up. You shouldn't force it on him, but rather do something nice that he would be comfortable with. Maybe you could go buy him a complete girl's outfit? Then wrap it up nicely and put in his bedroom with a note that says that he can use the present whenever he wants. Then you might suggest a special event or day that if he feels like wearing it he could. Also try to include him in some of your own feminine rituals. My mom would always ask me if I wanted to help her do her nails. If I was into it, she would let me dress up and help her. You could also take out old pictures of when you were the same age and point out the similarities, the maybe suggest that you both try to make him look like a twin image of you when you younger. You will get him to relax and respond femininely without him feeling pressured. I think you will eventually have a darling "girl" to spend precious moments with. When I was little, my mom and sister dressed me up like a girl for Halloween. We all thought that it was fun. I liked it so much that dressing up became a very frequent activity for my sister and I and I often dressed as a girl more than I did like a boy. It just felt so nice to me. The feeling seem to come from within. I still did all of the stuff little boys did, but had this second "thing" that I liked. I thought that I was the only boy like this. Sometimes, I was discouraged from dressing, and I got frustrated. Other times, I was mildly encouraged to dress up and I felt really happy. I continued to dress openly throughout my childhood, but I was also taught to apply the proper discretion, since this is a sensitive subject to many. I shared many happy moments as an "adopted" sister and daughter, with my sister and mom; along with the normal brother and son moments. I developed into a normal heterosexual man, but I still love to cross-dress. That Halloween didn't cause it; it just gave me the opportunity to discover myself. My advice is to support your sons if they show these inclinations and allow them to dress and discover themselves. You'll get used to it and I think that you will just discover that you love them even more than you thought. First do try to understand the child. Do not get mad and out of control, that can turn your son against you for life. I am 68 y/o male (not gay and never have had a gay experience) and have been wearing female clothing since I started with panties when I was 5-6. My mother and an aunt started purchasing me panties at 5-6, and dressing me a girl. I even wore rayon, nylon, silk or satin panties to school all through my school years, sometimes during 13-17 I would wear a bra under my male clothing. I love wearing satins and silks. I am dressed wearing a blue satin dressing gown, pink satin lace bra, pink satin panties, Hanes sheer pantyhose and black hush puppies (flats). I am married; we have two boys and one girl (all grown) who were raised seeing their father dressed in female attire. When the boys were 12-13, we purchased them two pairs of panties so that they could try if they liked, neither continued wearing female clothing. I recently came out of the closet as a Transvestite. This fact I have kept hidden away for many years. I started dressing at a very young age and was 3 times before I turned 15. My Mom new I would dress after that even though I would lie and say I wasn't dressing. Keeping it hidden for all years causes me to have anxiety and stress, which I am in therapy for know, I truly believe that if I would have had some kind of support I would be a different person today. I am 34 now and am starting my path into the lifestyle I have always wanted to lead. I may loose family and friends but if they would just try to understand even a little, it would be allot better. My son began wearing my lingerie when (s)he was 5 or 6 and I was not at all concerned. I always wanted a girl so (s)he became my "part-time" daughter. By the time (s)he was 10 (s)he was dressing completely as a girl at home. Seeing it was just the two of us there was no one to put their two cents in. I had bought her a fairly complete wardrobe for a girl her age and (s)he was quite adept at looking the part. I decide (s)he was ready for a bra when (s)he was 11 and low heels at 12. Makeup was a breeze - (s)he was a fast learner, and I guess I was a good teacher. Soon though, (s)he was itching to get out and be seen but I was totally against that, though I knew deep down that it was inevitable. Until (s)he was 16 (s)he was content to hang out at home with me and polish her feminine skills. We were more like roommates, living as we did. (S)he was an excellent student and I had a lucrative legal practice, so we were always secure. I guess seeing her 75% of the time as a girl I began thinking of "him" as "her". When (s)he was 17 though, the urge to get out became more than (s)he could handle and one cloudy afternoon in the winter (s)he left our apartment building through the service entrance as was soon just another face in the crowd on New York's Upper West Side. I was at work so (s)he had a couple of hours of walking-around time to be herself and still speaks of it as one of the most exciting things in her life. Since that day going out has become commonplace and so far (s)he's had no problems. I'm still a bit edgy but reconciled to the fact that (s)he is her own person. It's easy to say I may have been misguided in encouraging her to assume a female persona but the research I'd done told me that it would be virtually impossible to dissuade her from her feminine leanings and might be even quite detrimental. Sure, I was selfish in rationalizing it by saying I'd always wanted a daughter, which I really did, and being widowed and unable to have any more children, but you would be hard pressed to find a more happy and content human being, than is my "daughter" today. (S)he's 27 and in a doctoral program and has a bright future awaiting her, as both a man and a woman. It's easy to understand when a boy wants to dress up as a girl. First of all look at all the different things a girl can wear. One day she can wear slacks and the next day a pretty dress or skirt outfit. She can wear "men's" shirts and pants and then put on a frilly nightie when she gets home. Not to mention the great fabrics in women's clothes as compared to men's. Silk, satin, lace and ruffles feels nicer than coarse wool and cottons. When a child is growing up and mom comforts them next to her body they experience the contact to the types of clothes that mom's wear and it leaves a lasting impression on them. Now take a look at our whole society. You see and hear advertising towards men that always places them as the aggressive, competitive without much room to be different. However women are projected as caring, attractive people who can do anything they chose. A women comes home after a hard day of work and slips into a bubble bath and silky nightclothes and a man goes to play sports, socializes, and needs to let everyone know how masculine he is before his day is complete. It doesn't seem fair to some boys, does it? I was around 11 yrs old when I first asked my mother why I had to wear plain cotton pajamas while she wore these great looking and feeling nighties and pj's. I started trying some of things on when she wasn't at home. One time when we were at a department store, she was shoe shopping and I wandered into the next dept and was mesmerized by all the lingerie. She found me there looking through all delicate and wonderful items. She pulled me by the hand back to where she was shopping and I just sat there thinking how great it would be to wear things like I just saw. When she was done, she took me upstairs to the girls' dept and said I could pick out on girls pj's or nightgown and she would buy it for me. I still remember that little yellow nylon nightgown with the most adorable matching panties. My mom got me more things to wear and then she never ever had to tell me more than once to wash up and change for bed, I did it by myself most times! I grew up to be a cross-dresser and although some times were tough and lonely, I wouldn't change it for the world. High school was the hardest time because everyone at that age is trying to establish a personality of their own and I kept mostly to myself. I would take joy knowing that I could go home and enjoy being feminine. It was after my 10th grade year that most of the kids on my block starting going to sleep away camps and I didn't want to go because I knew what I'd be giving up. That summer my mom bought me dresses, girl's shorts and tops, shoes and sandals, panties and bras, and cosmetics that I could wear all day. It was the best summer I ever had. Through my adult life I have met so many wonderful women who understand the need to be feminine and most to encourage me that I continue. I am a straight married man and have worn bras and panties since my early teens. My wife is okay with it as long as my bra is not totally visible through my shirt. I don't wear any other women's clothes but I do have pierced ears and wear earrings all the time. I think my interest in lingerie began when my mother put my sister's hand me down panties and camies in my drawers when I was 9 or 10. That's what I was given so that's what I wore. I started wearing bras when I got my nipples pierced to cushion them and help them heal. At first my wife freaked but after a while she accepted it. She doesn't like me to wear anything with lace or flowers. Generally I wear a slightly padded underwire size 36A or a soft cup 36 AA. Several people have noticed mostly women and they will ask " are you wearing a bra ?" and I just say yes and smile. Recently I have become interested in enhancing my size and have been taking herbal enhancement pills which have had an effect over the past 2 months. I recently went to the doctors for my annual physical and the nurse practitioner was very interested in the underwear. She asked if it was comfortable and how long I had been wearing lingerie. She asked me about any drugs and supplements I was taking and I told her just multivitamins and the breast pills. Then she asked if I wanted breasts. I said yes. After she was done she left the room and came back with some samples of birth control pills and gave them to me. She explained that they would help my breasts grow. She gave me a three month supply and made another appointment for me in three months to follow up on some blood tests. I took the pills and my breasts didn't get a lot bigger but they were definitely more female looking. My wife noticed and began to pay a lot more attention to my breasts when we were intimate. I returned for my follow up appointment which I thought was just going to be a consultation about the tests but was again given a complete going over with help from the nurse and receptionist while I was naked. I dressed and began to leave and pay my co-pay and I was about to leave when the nurse stopped me in the waiting room and said in front of everyone, "You forgot your birth control prescription" and handed it to me. Boy did I get some strange looks from the other patients. I love my breasts and am now a full well shaped A cup. I am a 12 year old boy and I have been cross-dressing ever since I was 5 years old. At 5 I wore my best friend's sister's dress and painted my nails and used lipstick. Now I wear my mom's panties bras and thongs and every other girly thing I can find. The reason I do it is because I find it fun. The thing is no one in my family knows. I have a 5 year old sister, 9 year old brother and a mother and a father. And I don't want to tell them about but there is this really hot babysitter who has never told anything I told her and I am wondering if I should let her know and see if secretly she will let me go to her place(just the house away) and c if she can dress me up and maybe take me shopping for some girl things and keep it secret and put make up on me and in the future when I am on my own I plan to grow breasts. So what, should I do it? I think you should go for it. I am in my teens still and I would love to have some one dress me and take me out shopping for cloths. I dress at home fully as a girl and I am 12 I wear thongs g strings garter belts micro minis mini skirts dresses mini dresses blouses bras size 34b and only 18 year old sister knows I have gone to school for three years as a girl. I think you should go for it to. I am 26 years old and I have been wearing panties every since I was about 7 years old. I have two older sisters and growing up I had lots of panties to choose from. I am built well too. I am 5'11'', 145lbs. And have an athletic build. I have been thinking for some time of growing breasts but I don't know what my wife would say. She knows that I wear panties and she loves it! I have about 150 pairs of my own. We also share. I love wearing panties and I won't stop wearing them for anyone and I don't see the harm in it. I say do it because you only live life once and you should be able to do what makes you happy, go for it! Treat him like the daughter he wants to be! I have been dressing up since childhood and really regret not coming out to my sister sooner than I did...Oh the times we could have had as sisters...I still remember returning from boarding school in the 80's to find a beautiful feminine frilly blouse, and skirt suit hanging on the back of my door...needless to say it didn't take me long to try them on! As a psychologist, maybe I can shed some light on this issue. There are basically two categories of boys who enjoy cross dressing. One group, by far the largest, likes to dress up for fun and excitement, usually beginning around age five plus. When they hit puberty, women's clothing often becomes a fetish and may have an erotic component. Some stop, others may dress up fully or partly their entire lives. They are nearly always heterosexual and generally married as adults. The second group, known as transsexuals, believe they are actually a member the other sex trapped in the wrong body. Their "gender identity" is female if a boy and male if a girl; yes there are some girls who have a male identity, though they are fewer in number than males. These individuals are diagnosed as having a "Gender Identity Disorder," and are quite different from cross-dressers. They dress as the opposite gender because it feels natural and they are more comfortable that way. Many of them decide to take hormones and have their body modified (sometimes breast implants) so they appear truly feminine. Frequently, they wish to have surgery to become physically the opposite sex, the procedure being called SRS or Sexual Reassignment Surgery. If a young boy or girl is a true transsexual (a condition with is life long and a determination which needs to be made by a psychiatrist) it is sometimes recommended to begin the "transition" period before puberty. We are not certain exactly what causes cross-dressing and transsexualism, but recent research suggests that gender "identity" is actually hard-wired in the brain (as is sexual orientation) during the development of the fetus due to a hormonal imbalance. On the other hand, cross-dressing may be stimulated by the child's family environment. Boys who are the eldest boy in the family, for example, are 4 times more likely to cross-dress than those who are not. Intense relationships with the mother and distant relationships with the father may also play a role. I am a teen and I wear panties. Nothing sexual to it really, their just comfy and I like them more then normal briefs or boxers. Don't listen to the homophobes and right-wing Christians "You're wrong because my god says it's wrong" Try talking to your son, if he's like me and does it just for a little fun or comfort, then don't worry. If he's gay threes nothing you can really do about it either, just remember he's still your son and you should be supportive on his life decisions. As a heterosexual mother of 5 I would be happy for them in whatever way they want to express themselves that is only being different, which doesn't harm anything. Does it matter how your sister, mother or friend is a girl today? All that matters is you are showing love towards each other and that they are happy who they are. I would prefer to teach my children respect for things that are only different in race, gender, individual expression, identity, etc. If we could all do this we would have a lot more loving society. It's only clothes. Clothes haven't had a nasty history of hurting any people, unless the outfit is a rather silly fashion statement. When was the last time you ever heard of a person getting killed by a dress, or wounded by a bra, slashed by a pair of panties, hit over the head with a slip, etc.? The boy is just exploring a different world and maybe showing healthy childhood curiosity. Everybody, virtually, has most likely at one time or another asked one of the big questions in life, "What If I Was Born The Opposite Gender?". Basically all children try cross-dressing at one time or another. Far too many parents over-react and panic to see their son dressed as a girl. This over-reaction only leads to a negative being applied to the act of their son dressing as a girl. This negativism can lead into a life of secreted closeted cross-dressing that is filled with guilt, depression, isolation, loneliness, despair, drug abuse, alcoholism and a ton of other negative issues. Too much of this heaped on negative feelings can lead that child into either attempted suicide or committing the actual act of suicide. How may parents have come home to find their son cross-dressed as a girl and dead at his own hands? I think the statistics would be rather shocking if they were ever to truly come out. Is all of this worth it because a boy dresses as a girl? Is it worth screwing up a potential good life filled with good things, good rewards and a rich full filled one life here on old Mother Earth simply because a boy dresses as a girl? The best thing a parent can do if their son dresses like a girl is neither to encourage it nor discourage it. Just let it take its own natural course. Buying him his own girl's clothes is not an encouragement, rather, it's simply a statement to your son, "I'd rather you wear your own girl clothes than your sisters or mine. Clothes are a personal item and we don't wear other people's clothes without their permission." If it continues then as parents first feel out your son in a non-threatening environment on his dressing as a girl. Then as a family seek professional counseling. That boy may be one of the many variations of transgenderism. Transgenderism in all of its forms is generally inborn rather that environmental. The best that can be done for that boy is to prepare him to live a positive life full of positive values and issues as a transgender person and how to deal with a partial hostile society. Then, again, it just might be a phase he's going through. There is nothing wrong with a boy wearing girls clothing. My daughter (13) caught my son (9) wearing one of her sundresses and a pair of her underwear. She was furious, and I calmed her down and told her that this is how young men explore their sexuality. She said she didn't want him wearing her stuff anymore, so we all went out shopping and helped him pick out a few dresses and panties that he can wear. It all worked out! You shouldn't discourage your son's behavior -- allow him to be who he wants to be -- and let him determine for himself what makes him happy-- he is hurting absolutely no-one. For the previous poster that wants his son to walk the "straight and narrow" path -- it sounds as though you are concerned more with your own needs (discomfort with the expression) than your son's. Obviously this is a very difficult issue for most people to grasp as society discourages what it sees as abnormal. And many live to oppress anything in people they personally can't comprehend -- which is sad. My suspicion is, this behavior, practice, expression is much more common than anyone admits -- and the professionals I've talked to agree that it is a worthy suspicion. And again for the "straight and narrow" poster -- I am a 36 year old male -- as an only child I dressed on and off in secret from the time I was 4. I was caught twice and was threatened to correct my behavior. I had much shame. I was depressed in my teens. I went to college, used alcohol and marijuana to shut myself off from the reality of me having a predominately feminine nature. I got married and continued to push back this true expression. Became a full-blown alcoholic. Wife left me due to alcohol. I received counseling and came clean for the first time in my life with the counselor -- the counselor understood it was a very big deal for me to tell someone. I told my ex-wife the truth about the source of all my underlying sadness. I opened by saying with a nervous grin "Remember how when I'd buy you jewelry or clothing as gifts you were always so amazed by my perfect choices?" she was not so shocked by my admission but more angry that I had never shared my true self with her. We are in the midst of reconciling and I am a happier, well adjusted person than I've ever been in my life. It took such a long time. I don't necessarily think I'll be going out in a dress anytime soon or getting sex reassignment surgery, but whatever happens, I will be an expression of my true self; multidimensional and human. I feel bad for all the people that commit suicide because they feel so alone and can't find the peace myself and others have found. Oh it happens, you just don't hear about it; being a feminine male should remain a deep, deep, dark secret etc., etc., etc. The very narrow-minded general public really, really need to have it drilled into them that gender and sexuality are two completely separate things. Maybe 100 years from now they will embrace that both gender and sexuality (quite beautifully) possess a wide-ranging kaleidoscope of colors. I'm 13 and like cross-dressing I go in the mall to try on girls clothes when I'm at home I dress in my mom and sisters' clothes and I wear their thongs and nail polish but I don't have wigs. My mom doesn't know. Should I tell her and this Halloween I'm dressing as a princess. Do you know which one should I be and should I wear makeup. My son has been dressing in girls clothing since he was 5. He was always very feminine in the way he acted and played with other children, preferring to play with the other girls in the neighborhood exclusively when he could. At first it was just trying on my nightgown and heels and some lipstick. And would always insist on being a fairy princess or some girl TV star for Halloween. By the time she was 7 she was getting tired of wearing clothes that were too large and looked silly on a 7 year old. So one day while we were shopping she asked of she could have his own nightgown. I asked if her if she wanted anything else and suddenly she was gushing a wish list of things and pulling me into the girls section of the Robinson's May and pointing out all the different outfits he wanted to buy immediately. We settled for a dress a couple of skirts, some tops, shoes, underwear and of course a couple of nightgowns. Since then he hasn't worn any boy's underwear for any reason and is always my daughter from the moment she steps into the house and more than half the time when we go out. She is 10 now and a more wonderful daughter a mother couldn't ask for. Love to talk to you about your new daughter if you wish Tina Just communicate. Keep the lines of communication open. Love your kid. Whatever he is, he is. I think it's a phase that will pass. Girls get SO many options of clothing, in real life and for pretend/fantasy. Some boys probably get jealous. I don't know if it's inside up or what. I mean, I like wearing dresses, but I don't know if that's because I'm a girl or because I was told to wear dresses as a kid. Who knows. Maybe he just likes wearing dresses or girl's shoes. There's nothing wrong with it, but you have to figure out why he does and figure out how to deal with it. I mean, if he wore a dress to school, yeah he'd be happy to be in a dress but will he be happy when everyone makes fun of him? Or if he gets beat up? I can't wait to be a mom. And I'm going to love my kids no matter what. I think just love him, care for him, listen to him, and guide him. If he's still doing it a few years from now, maybe talk to a psychologist. Wow a lot to go over just to answer if a boy should be allowed to wear girls clothing. As many of the men out there I too was allowed to wear girls clothing, lingerie, nightgowns or whatever and whenever I wanted to including makeup. I dressed everyday from 8 or and became more and more entranced in the feminine ways. Women's fabrics and fit of the clothing are for women not for men. A garter belt will fall down around my hips and why do I need a bra. YOU women are fooling yourselves if you think it is OK for your little boys to wear girls things. Think about the tactile sensations of silky nylon against his little penis. You know, when your wearing panties and a slip and you feel the slippery sensations against your bottom when sitting down or whatever. He is feeling that against his penis and do not think he is not completely aroused. Arousal is addicting especially for the young like me. I am now addicted and I cannot stop. The more I dress and more I want to. It feels different for me to shave my legs and slide on stockings and put on a bra and slip and high heels with makeup and dress. Every movement is erotic. Hi, I was a first grandson and nephew to 3 young aunts. One liked to scare me all the time. Another liked to parade in front of me in her tight skimpy outfits and lingerie. Teasing me about her "boobies" and that tight booty. And the last would dress me up in pantyhose. Every time I spent the night at Grandma's house, when all the lights were out, she put me in pantyhose. I can not stop thinking about how sexy they felt on my skin. She shaved my legs, and made the sensation even more arousing. I then associated sexy pantyhose with a feeling down there, and began masturbating. I am now 31 years old. I cannot explain my attraction to nylons and shaved legs. I secretly shave my legs every morning, and put on a favorite pair of nylon stockings and garter. They made me want to be a girl. I hate them for that, and yet, they also gave me something I would have never experienced otherwise. A god could care less what we wear and don't wear, humans are the ones that care what we wear. Society has deemed it bad for a male to wear female clothing, though at the same time most women that wear lots of boy clothing get judged as well they are called tom boys and butch and whatnot. Really its just fabric so who cares , there are unisex clothing out there but if you wear that your not judged. Now as for guys wanting to wear skirts, look back in history to the time of the kilts where men wore "skirts", "kilts" really are the same thing for the most part a strip of cloth that covers your waist. I say more women and men should wear whatever, women's clothing is more attractive, and can be more comfortable and men's clothing can be the same its all based loosely on style and fashion. I have noticed that most older guys that like to wear women's clothing tend to not wear what's in style. I really think people just need to grow up and figure out that if we stopped worrying about what someone is wearing and stuff like who is in charge of our country and whatnot and stop making war with one another then maybe life would be much better for all of us. The best thing you can do for a young cross-dresser is to get him some clothes of his own. I wore my sister's clothes. Girls have a special thing about clothes and it violates there rights when you use their things without permission. Thrift shops are a great source of inexpensive items. Panties should be new and don't have to be expensive. There is an age range when most boys can easily pass as girls when appointed properly. Help him take advantage of this age, hair, nails, earrings etc. Take lots of pictures. He will love you for it and the pictures will allow him to remember those wonderful years as a girl. When will parents learn that our job in raising our children is to shelter and nourish them, keep them from harm and unconditionally love them and let them find their own paths? I'm not talking about raising spoiled, wilful, self-centered princesses or anarchists - I'm talking about teaching them how to make appropriate decisions for themselves - letting them know that they have freedom of choice - and that the world has "rules", and that all actions have reactions and consequences. Teach them that avoiding pain isn't worth losing out on the opportunities that we miss when we let fear of consequences keep us from experiencing all there is to experience in life. And encourage them to stand up and speak up for what they believe in - even if they are the only ones who believe that way - and to face their fears rather than run from them - there's almost always a valuable lesson or a triumph on the other side. And there's nothing as empowering as building our "courage" muscles. And let them know that the way we truly grow is to stretch outside of our comfort zones. And let them know that no one went down in history for playing it safe, avoiding confrontation or not speaking up when they had something to say that could make a difference. Why not teach them to believe in themselves rather than believing that we have all of their friendus and raising them to be followers? Why do we need to call the shots in their lives anyway? And why do we need to control them - just because we're their parents? I believe in positive reinforcement. Sometimes it seems that the more a parent insists that their child should be a certain way, the more likely it is that the child will rebel and do the opposite. Yet we persist in believing that we can determine their futures. Unfortunately, parents do determine the futures of their children - while we can't change their sexual preferences or personalities, we can teach them to be fearful and subservient and to question their own judgment. Or we can ignore them and teach them to be insecure and feel unloved. Or we can reinforce their unacceptable behavior (like violence, sadism, etc.) By letting them get away with destructive behavior and by not being willing to take a stand for THEM finding themselves (violence & drugs distract from that process) - I hope you get the picture - I'm not talking about parental passiveness or permissiveness or indifference. And I'm not talking about saying one thing & doing another - integrity is a vital part of this equation. A parent who has no clue who they themselves are cannot teach their children how to find themselves. We can teach them that how they look, what they wear, what they drive, where they live, what they do for a living and how much money and "stuff" they have IS "Who" they are, or we can show them how "Who" they are is their qualities (and how their qualities can shape their lives & the lives of others)- and who they are is far more powerful and permanent than all of the external trappings and judgments that some people falsely attribute to being indicative of one's value. My younger brother (now age 54) was taught by my macho father to be ashamed of his desire to dress like a woman. So he tried to deny, hide, change and fool himself -and everyone else. My brother raised his son to be a man's man - a wrestler who has no tolerance for gender issues - particularly where his father is concerned. Even his diminutive daughter was a wrestler for awhile. And my brother lived a life of shame and secrets and ultimately isolated himself (even during his marriage), alienated his wife - and after 24 years of marriage, she just divorced him a few months ago. Not too long ago, his huge house was filled with life & laughter - now he lives there all alone. Had he been allowed to explore in life, find himself and "be" himself, I doubt that he would be divorced and estranged from his children - because he would have known who he really was & he would have told his wife up front who he really was & taught his kids acceptance & tolerance. He would have designed his life around whom he is - not who he wanted or needed people to think he is. My point is that we can't CHANGE who our children ARE - there is a REASON why some boys can't stand girly things & others want to wear them + why 2 kids born to the same parents - and treated the same way - can react differently & end up with such different personalities. So if your son wants to dress up like a girl, maybe all there is to do is to love him unconditionally and let him "be" - I don't think there is anything wrong at all with boys wearing girls' clothes. It makes for a happier child. I myself have worn girl's clothes all my life. I don't want to be a girl, but girl's clothes are so much more comfortable and pretty. I think one has to take a different perspective on this situation. So consider this, would you force a boy to wear girls clothes if he detested the very thought of it?? No, so why force a boy to wear boy's clothes if the boy in question hates the thought of it. Again, would you force a girl to dress as a boy?? Probably not. It is ONLY society that has dictated that boys should be boys, oh how totally wrong it is. Boys are human beings, and thus should be treated as such. Not objects of stereo-typical conditioning by members of an ageing and mostly corrupt society. Let your son have fun. He will enjoy the sexy silky feel of panties and slips against his private parts and will totally get aroused so let him have a good time. I believe that ADULTS should do whatever makes them feel happy, as long as they are not hurting anyone else. Kids are a different story! I know a lot of adults who regret having done stupid things when they were younger: drinking, having sex, smoking pot, stealing. Need I say more? Children and young adults do not know what they want out of life, they do not know what they will become, and therefore can not say what sort of things they will regret having done in their younger days. If we let our kids do whatever makes them happy, then they might be pregnant at 14, catch AIDS, become addicts, have poor self-esteem, destroy their image, etc. Etc. As parents, we have to take care of our children! That means saying no, that means being strict, someday they will thank you. If your son likes wearing girl clothes, then buy him the scratchiest wool panties you can find! We certainly don't want him popping up on websites later on in life talking about how good the silk feels on his genitals!! Yuck!!! And you know, there's nothing wrong with gay people, but let them decide when they're ready to decide. If your ten year old daughter says she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, you're not going to buy her that kind of outfits and send her to school are you? Think about it! The boy wants girl clothes, you get him some. He goes to school, he gets made fun of, people laughing and pointing, and then he is going to feel bad. No one is going to forget, I still don't like the girl who was in my first grade class that picked her nose and ate it. You let him do that, and that image is going to follow him wherever he goes. Maybe he will decide he doesn't like it someday, and maybe he'll meet a nice girl.....then she'll hear rumors how he spent two years dressed as a girl and think he's a weirdo. If he's 18-20, whatever, and he still wants to wear them, then he can go ahead and do it, if he doesn't want to, then he still has his image. If he is really persistent, then maybe he can do it in his room. Stick by him, but explain to him the consequences of his choices, and by the way, he isn't old enough to make these kind of choices- I don't care if he's 17 and a half! I agree with the response above. Some of these friendus are just completely fanciful - they smack of wish fulfillment by cross-dressers. I'm English and know Americans are very liberal but can't believe many US moms dress their boys in girl's clothes. Someone said earlier in the thread that "cross-dressing" could be understood up to the age of five or so when children are still getting to grips with gender & identity but is it really appropriate for a parent to encourage their child to dress in girls clothes when they are 7,8, 9, 10? Or ignore their urges to dress in girls clothes & let them raid their sister's wardrobes/drawers? Of course it isn't! As many cross-dressers here have testified life as a transvestite can be very awkward. Sure it's a choice but it's a choice that should be made in adulthood not as a child. If a boy wishes to dress as a girl a parent should explain that it is not appropriate. He shouldn't be punished but told that it is something he shouldn't do. Unfortunately, I know some parents are incapable of saying "no". I work in a school and every year we have something called "children in need" where children pay money to charity and come dressed in whatever clothes they want rather than school uniform - there's always a couple of boys who come dressed as girls. Last year one of the boys came as a Princess in a long, flowing pink dress, make-up and varnished nails - he's 8 years old and too old for such play acting and wonder what his mother's lack of authority will do to him later in life. I think that you should let your child do as he wishes. I know that when you were a child there was something you wanted or wanted to do more than anything in the world and your parents told you no and you never saw or had the thought of it again. Do you remember how this felt? If you tell your son no then that's how he will feel and he will feel embarrassed for a long while. I know I will if my mom catches me in girl's clothes and tells me I can't anymore! This all came from a teenage male himself. There are some very good arguments for letting it be, with the caveat that it be in private until the child is old enough to understand the ramifications of publicly defying gender roles. First, there is nothing at all "wrong" with a boy wearing girls' clothing, just as there is nothing wrong with a girl wearing boys' clothing. Second, this may even bring you and your son closer. When my son was 13, I suspected that he was wearing my clothing because things would not be where I left them. I arranged that he would think that he was home alone, and after a couple of hours, walked into my bedroom to find that he was not only wearing one of my teddies, but my lipstick as well. He immediately began crying, swearing that he was sorry and that this would never happen again. He was rather surprised when I sat down with him and told him that I was not in any way displeased with him. I put my arm around him and let him lean against me as we talked about why he liked the lingerie and makeup. I explained that if this is what he liked, then this is what he should do, as long as he understood that going public with it could be troublesome. He expressed a desire to live as a girl, and we agreed to discuss it further. To show him that I loved him, I kissed him. Kisses turned to caresses, and we ended up making love. I now have a daughter and a lover, and both of us couldn't be happier. If you catch your son wearing girl's clothing, let him cry into your arms. Or you could accept that that is who he is and he can't help it and also talk about it with him but don't force him to do it, if he says "don't worry" or "leave it" etc. don't worry about it just let it go. Girl Panties Honestly, if it is your son's decision and its his body you really shouldn't try to change him. Also just let him know and try to make him understand you're point of view and how you feel about his clothes I am a 14 year old boy and I wear nothing but girls panties except on mornings i have gym and then i wear boxers and change back into panties after everyone has left the locker room.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Narcissism
Can children of narcissistic parents ever recover?
Narcissism is the personality trait of selfishness taken to an extreme level, and like any personality trait, it can be slowly changed through great effort or at least blunted with behavior modification techniques. While it is possible for children of a narcissist to suffer some emotional issues due to their parent being much more involved with themselves than with their child, many children of narcissists find that emotional support from another parent, a grandparent, or through friendships. Psychiatric professionals constantly marvel at the durability and adaptability of children. However, not all children are that adaptable and if you are someone who suffers emotional issues because one of your parents is a narcissist, then you absolutely can be helped. However, please don't believe that having parents who are narcissistic will automatically cause you to have issues. This may be a root cause of some of your problems, but people are complex, and if you are happy and well adjusted, then there is no reason to fix something that isn't broken. However, often children of parents with a socially debilitating personality trait like this one will find that they are emotionally needy and/or that they share the very trait that caused them pain during their childhood. Personality traits are slow to change, and doing so most often requires therapy and commitment. Narcissism is extremely pervasive and most narcissists will not recognize it in themselves. They may seek treatment because they believe their parents have "messed them up" or they can see the negative results of their personality trait (poor relationships, immoral acts that cause guilt, etc.), but do not understand how their decisions are creating these situations. Plus, you'll work on becoming more adaptable as "emotional agility" (Not allowing the behavior of others to impact you) is absolutely key to being mentally strong. Ultimately, this is what is important. While personalities are extremely difficult to change, learning to blunt them so that people do not make negatively impacting decisions is not nearly as difficult.
What is the difference between child development and parenting?
What is the meaning of 'You are grounded' when someone does something wrong?
"You are grounded" is a fairly common punishment for kids. It refers to being unable to leave the house except to go to school or family activities. No going to parties, sporting events and the like. In some places it also means no telephone calls. The intent is to restrict social interaction, which may have been the cause of the grounding in the first place. In today's society it is less effective due to cell phones and internet access.
Does sugar really make kids hyperactive?
Not for most children. Contrary to popular belief, many studies have proven there's no link between most kids' sugar consumption and their level of activity. Some kids can be affected more than most, like those with ADHD or those who are more sensitive to blood sugar spikes—but these cases are the exception to the rule. Some researchers suggest the perceived link between sugar and hyperactivity comes from the conditions surrounding sugar intake. High-energy events, like birthday parties, often have sugar-rich treats as a centerpiece of the festivities—it’s not the sugar that’s hyping them up, pediatric dietitian Kristi L. King suggests, but the adrenaline. Further, one study illustrated that parents who think their children have consumed sugar rate their kids’ activity levels higher, even if they never actually had any sugar. So, although there are some notable exceptions, the link between sugar and hyper kids seems to be mostly imagined.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Movies
Name a reason you might take your child out of a movie?
1) They are crying or having a tantrum. 2) They've peed or pooped themselves (or are in imminent danger of doing so). 3) The movie is too scary for them. 4) The movie is too boring for them. 5) The theatre is too hot or too cold for them. 6) They are scared of the dark. bad language crying during movie violence sex scene got sick talking
Asked in Parenting and Children, Emotions
Why doesn't my mom want to spend any time with me?
If your mother works, she may not have much time to spend with you, it is because the cost of living is so high and she wants to be able to pay the bills especially for the food and every day needs you have. If she works she is tired or, if she is a stay-at-home mom she may not be feeling well, so medications may make her tired or just very tired from looking after the chores at home. You could help her with some chores: possibly in taking you to school; sports practices; doctor's or dentist's appointments. Moms tend to get tired, but be assured your mother loves you very much. Sit down with your mother and let her know how you feel so she can explain to you how much she loves you and why she is so tired. Most of all be sure you are happy and have a good education. Also, it depends on what your mom's social life is like. If she is divorced she may feel that she wants to be loved by a man who would care for her in a different way from you, her child would. This is natural she just probably feels lonely if this is the case.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Emotions
How do you get your parents to notice you?
u jst have to go near them n try to talk to them n if it doesnot work then, try to do something which will divert their attention towards u. Communication is the best way to build a good relationship.Send them greetings,buy a card during special occasional a simple gift will do.If you love to cook,cook their favorite dishes or sometimes treat them in to their favorite restaurant.Always make them feel how much you care for them.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Jobs, Canada, Education
What day in Canada is Take your Daughters and Sons to Work Day?
Asked in Parenting and Children, Child Development
What is the benefits of parallel play in young children?
among the stages of play the 1st stage is one where the child is playing by himself and if there is any other child around, may even stop playing. The THIRD stage is that of co-operative play, wherein, children play together. The SECOND stage is the parallel stage. It comes right in between solitary play and co-operative play. In this stage 2 children may play with the same toys, although doing their own different things. However, the fact that they are sharing the toys, room and space, indicates that they are learning to co-operate and share with others. Also, when one wants a toy the other has, with giudance, they may learn to ask each other for toys, increasing communication skills as well. Therefore, the main benefits of parallel play include learning new skills of co-operation, communication and sharing.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Human Rights
Do parents have the right to randomly inspect teenager's rooms?
Yes, parents do have the right to randomly inspect the teenager's room only if they suspect their teen may be using drugs or alcohol; checking out what their young teen is up too on the the Internet and the parent has seen a great change in their teen. Otherwise the teen has the right to their privacy within reason just as a parent needs some privacy. Without just cause a parent should not inspect the teen's room or read their diary. Yes parents do have this right. Since their children are presumably minors, parents have legal control over their children. Since this behavior is not breaking the law, it is acceptable behavior. However, teenagers should have privacy like any other human being, and there should be a good reason to search the room, such as possession of a weapon, drugs, etc.
Asked in Parenting and Children, History of China, China and Chinese Territories, China's One-Child Policy
What do the people of China think about one child policy?
As authentic Chinese man, I think the one-child policy taken by the Chinese Central Government has more advantages than disadvantages, though it's not carried out completed in some rural areas of China. I have to admit that the policy do help China a lot both in economy development and social development.
What are the introduction of broken family?
The introduction to a broken family is not accepting personal responsibility. When we don't accept our personal responsibility, whatever the situation may be, it places the burden on other people in the relationship, which makes things difficult. When things are difficult, we become unhappy. Eventually, this can lead to a broken family. Of course this is only one reason, but a very popular one.
Asked in Parenting and Children, Insomnia
What do you do if your child keeps waking up in the middle of the night?
Some children just wake up more than others. The reasons can vary with age, but there are usually some simple explanations. Babies need to get into a routine. If you just hear them stirring, or even whimpering a little, it doesn't hurt to just settle themselves back in. They usually will fall back asleep on their own. If they begin crying, and continue to cry, they are usually trying to let you know they are not comfortable. They could be hungry, wet, or just in need of a little comforting. Some say that you will spoil them by going to them in the night, but after raising my own, that simply isn't true. As long as you take care of their needs, and then lay them back in their own bed to go back to sleep, you are simply helping them to get a better night's rest. This will help establish patterns, even if it wears you out in the beginning. In the long run, it will pay off. There are other issues that can also be a problem. Colic is somewhat common in infants. If their little belly seems blown up, or they just cry and cry, and you cannot comfort them, this could be an issue. Check with their doctor. It is usually easily treated with a new formula, or anti-gas drops. As toddlers get older, the reasons begin to change. If they are waking up throughout the night, it could have to do with a smaller bladder. They may need to use the restroom, or they may have wet the bed. If bedwetting is a consistent problem, keep a change of linens and pajamas on hand. Do not fuss at them, or make them feel bad. They couldn't help it. Having the stuff on hand makes it so it can be dealt with quickly, and they can get right back to sleep. Also, their imaginations are beginning to grow, so they may be insecure. Any noise can be the monster under the bed. You may also want to consider factors such as passing headlights, nearby train tracks, and hot water heaters that click on throughout the night. Also, the mattresses in most toddler beds are pretty cheaply made. Try laying on the child's bed. See if you are still comfortable in twenty minutes. In our youngest daughter's case, a new mattress made all the difference. Other toddlers are coming into an age that they want to test their limits. Three year olds can sniff out weakness like a lioness. You have to be firm, consistent, and as drama free as possible. After you talk to them, and make sure there is no real problem, promptly walk them straight back to their bed. Keep in mind that you children are full of energy. If they spent the afternoon watching television or sitting in their room playing with toys, you are probably not going to get them to stay in that bed. You have to do something to burn off the energy, give them their bath, have a little quiet time, and then send them to bed. Sometimes, there are more serious or deep seated issues going on. Sexual/Physical Abuse Night Terrors Hallucinations Schizophrenia Sleep Apnea These are more rare, but can be a possibility. There will often be daytime symptoms to go along with these problems. If the issue seems very severe, or persistent, you need to talk to your child's doctor. They can evaluate the situation, and maybe even order a sleep study. There are therapies, changes in habits, natural cures, and in some situations, medications that can help.
Asked in Parenting and Children
Can a 7 year old girl use deodorant?
OK, if your child stinks, make them wear deodorant. EVERYONE will hate them and tease them and leave them out. "Oh! but they're only children!" NO! Popularity problems start when you child enters school. MAKE HER WEAR DEODORANT!!! She won't die! It's deodorant No deodorants are not good for kids below 13. As it harms the skin and may cause skin cancer. Tlcum powder, pefumes are better than deoz... Prachi Sinha VIII-A PHSS, Ahmedabad India
Asked in Parenting and Children, Siblings, Jealousy
What is it called when jealousy shown towards a new baby by an older brother or sister?
Who is Dave Pelzer's mother?
Catherine Roerva Christen Pelzer was Dave Pelzer's mother, who passed away in 1992. Catherine was an alcoholic who had been drinking from the age of 13. Brought up in the Mormon community of Salt Lake City, she would hide in the outhouse during Prohibition to wince down bootleg whiskey. Her parents were divorced, which made them outcasts in that religious community, and Catherine was frequently locked in a closet, denied food, and told how despicable she was. Catherine suffered from alcoholism and was mentally ill. Her mental illness was Borderline Personality Disorder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder ('Witch'), which is characterized by an irrational fear of rejection and abandonment and self-hatred as a result of surviving a childhood that required complete submission to a hostile or sadistic caregiver (pg 131) Christine Ann Lawson of 'Understanding the Borderline Mother'. For a picture and more information about Catherine, see http://thequeenandking.blogspot.com/2009/08/did-dave-pelzers-mother-from-child.html
Asked in Parenting and Children, Narcissism
How do a narcissist and his mother interact?
The study of narcissism is a century old and the two scholarly debates central to its conception are still undecided. Is there such a thing as HEALTHY adult narcissism (Kohut) - or are all the manifestations of narcissism in adulthood pathological (Freud, Kernberg)? Moreover, is pathological narcissism the outcome of verbal, sexual, physical, or psychological abuse (the overwhelming view) - or, on the contrary, the sad result of spoiling the child and idolizing it (Millon, the late Freud)? The second debate is easier to resolve if one agrees to adopt a more comprehensive definition of "abuse". Overweening, smothering, spoiling, overvaluing, and idolizing the child - are all forms of parental abuse. This is because, as Horney pointed out, the child is dehumanized and instrumentalized. His parents love him not for what he really is - but for what they wish and imagine him to be: the fulfillment of their dreams and frustrated wishes. The child becomes the vessel of his parents' discontented lives, a tool, the magic brush with which they can transform their failures into successes, their humiliation into victory, their frustrations into happiness. The child is taught to ignore reality and to occupy the parental fantastic space. Such an unfortunate child feels omnipotent and omniscient, perfect and brilliant, worthy of adoration and entitled to special treatment. The faculties that are honed by constantly brushing against bruising reality - empathy, compassion, a realistic assessment of one's abilities and limitations, realistic expectations of oneself and of others, personal boundaries, team work, social skills, perseverance and goal-orientation, not to mention the ability to postpone gratification and to work hard to achieve it - are all lacking or missing altogether. The child turned adult sees no reason to invest in his skills and education, convinced that his inherent genius should suffice. He feels entitled for merely being, rather than for actually doing (rather as the nobility in days gone by felt entitled not by virtue of its merit but as the inevitable, foreordained outcome of its birth right). In other words, he is not meritocratic - but aristocratic. In short: a narcissist is born. Personal Experiences: My N's mother died recently but before that his feelings toward her were predominately of fear and loathing. I could never find out exactly why he hated her only that she was "cold" to him as a child. Nevertheless, he was always afraid to stand up to her. His method of avoidance of her was to move to another country. Oddly enough, his siblings did the same thing. My N adores his mother and feels as though she can do no wrong and made no mistakes in raising him. She treats him as though he can do no wrong. Even though he is the least successful of all of the children, she tells him that he is richer than the others in areas that most can't see. She adores him. If she says something that he disagrees with, she changes her opinion. He was born early and almost died. He is the youngest of 5 children. His older brother died in childhood and I think his mother feared losing another child, so spoiled her "baby". She did everything for him. All of his siblings also treat him this way. They will tell him whatever they think he wants to hear. I thought it was just because he was the baby, but his older sister and I were talking over Christmas and it came out that growing up he used to fly into rages over the littlest things. His family hates conflict, so I think they appease him just to avoid this. I, on the other hand, never back down from a fight and will stand my ground to the death. (Can you guess I am a little stubborn, OK, not a little, VERY stubborn. I have to be to survive this relationship in tact.) Sounds very familiar to the sick family I got married to. My husband was raised in the creepiest family dynamic. Everyone kept secrets from each other to protect their feelings. He was the golden child, the perfect or near perfect one. She boasted of everything he was and his potential. They both fed each other narcissistic fuels. I was out of the equation if they were together, but was only an object for both of them if i served a purpose. You couldn't talk to him you couldn't be you, anything different from him is abnormal b/c he is perfect and that causes conflict, chaos and silent treatments that he calls "peacemaking" I am is rival mate and his mother pretends she doesn't understand what can be happening since his son is perfect.. so it HAS to be my fault. I am the only to blame for his needs of taking medications to deal with daily life stressors that 95% of population deals with perfectly normal, BUT NOT HIM.. b/c he wants to live in a bubble pain fre, stress free, no traffic, no stupid people around him. No one should have needs that would inconvenience him. Its all about him, it has always been all about him grown up and he likes it a lot. Relationships reflect his mirror of what he thinks he wants.. but them he will dislike you with passion b/c you are NOT HIM.. which means you better die or get out of his face & life. I recently realized my son is a narcissist. I don't know how much of it is inherited or learned, but he definitely exhibits the same traits as his father (who died some years ago from alcoholism). My son has always been oppositional to anything I say. He acts as if he is the most unique person and far above anyone else that he knows. His life is a shambles financially, socially, and with regard to his jobs as well. He doesn't pay bills and is getting further into debt. He has troubles with relationships with girlfriends. Yet he acts as if he is doing everything right! I am, of course, responsible for everything that has ever gone wrong in his life. Even if his father were to blame for any of it, I am the one that married him. I am nothing more than a target for his anger. He is 19 and still argues everything I say no matter how reasonable I am. (As a child, he often argued that doing homework was not good for him! He was different and so smart he shouldn't have to do anything.) I have never experienced from anyone else the kind of convoluted logic that both he and his father could dish out. Anyway he now feels that I owe it to him to take care of him because I am the one that gave him an alcoholic father. My friend whom I believe is an N seems to hold his mother in utter contempt. Only rarely does he say anything positive about her. He says he loves her only because she is his mother. According to him she was very negative to all of her siblings and expected them to be nothing less than perfect. He is middle aged and never married. He will only say that she was never nurturing and very negative toward him as a child. He is a very tormented person. He related that she tried to explain things to him later in life (sounds as if she was narcissistic) explaining hersef, however, he refuses to forgive her. He is a very angry person. My N and his mother were very close. She was proud of him, but why I'm not sure. Then again she really didn't know how he was, and he could do no wrong much of the time. She would have done anything for him, and he would always say they were very close. It seemed like the one fault free relationship in his life. My N rarely would speak kindly directly to his mother, even in the presence of myself or his father. I learned that she attempted throughout his life to make up for the abuse she allowed his father to commit against him, by paying his bills, slipping him secret money. The N is a total failure as far as his finances go. Since the death of his father, the N has been getting "closer" to his mother, aka manipulating her to get anything he wants that his father would have put the brakes on before. She is a source of supply that he takes off the shelf when he needs it or sees a windfall from her. She continues to aid him in being a "Baby Man" who is a wastrel. She is loathsome I believe to him but he can smile cunningly all the way to the bank. From what little my husband has told me of his mother, I believe he is torn between hating her and loving her still. She was a blonde and pretty 15 year old when she became pregnant. His biological father left when my husband was only three years old. His mother remarried a few years later and had three more children with her new husband. His stepfather, who refused to adopt him or give him "his" name was a emotionally cold, brutal ex-military man. David's step-father punished him "harshly" for even the smallest mistake. Rarely, if ever did his mother intervene and protect her first born from this brute. My husband left home when he turned 18. He no longer keeps in touch with his parents or two siblings. Sadly, I've come to realize that my husband, a cerebral narcissist, is incapable of any real emotional or physical intimacy. In our case, the son and mother feed off of each. They literally give each other supply they need to survive. The son is taken care of in all ways and is permitted at the tender of age of 29 to continue behaving in whatever manner that suits him. The mother in turn receives her supply from the son. All he has to do is say what she wants to hear. One example is that mother and son teamed up to attack my daughter verbally the first opportunity they got her alone. The mother delivered a verbal attack that would have sent any normal person off crying. The son stood by throwing his two cents in as well. The mother proclaimed to my daughter "none of this would be a problem if YOU had kept YOUR legs shut in the first place." His mother made it clear her son had no responsibility whatsoever in anything he does. My daughter's response "Well, since I got myself pregnant, I guess we have no further business to talk about do we?" This made the mother more angry and she heightened her attack. The mother stated that all of it was my daughter's fault, her son was a perfect father, etc. His mother actually wanted my daughter to take claim to all of her son's problems. It was when my daughter looked at his mother and said "you need that go to gal to put all the blame on for what he is, I suggest you go inside, look into a mirror and you'll have the person responsible for what he is." With that his mother walked away speechless. This also calmed him down. Within the week the son called to apologize for the behavior of himself and his mother. He said his mom was in a bad mood and he couldn't control what she does. He said he was sorry for their behavior, they were out of line, and wanted to make things right. What he didn't tell my daughter was that before he made this call to her to apologize, he had filed numerous papers in court including a review of child support to get a reduction. In all of my readings, this exact behavior is demonstrated and common among N's. Talking worthless talk, while undertaking hateful actions. In our case, it truly is the blind leading the blind. While both have a great need to get their supply from each other, they each also have very different agendas that serves their own needs. So while they work together, they also are each other's worse enemy. If you must deal with N and Mommie Nist, remember to document everything, and use the truth in all your dealings. We also found it most helpful to further confuse them both by maintaining the same, consistent behavior we have always used with them. They literally expected some form of rebuttal after the confrontation, but that didn't happen and they both went away confused, not understanding why, and they literally looked disappointed. As if their grand plan to prove something had backfired. This is by far the worse family I have ever had to have personal contact with. Protect your family against them as best you can. They honestly only care about what's in it for them. Good luck. My sister is a narcissist. All she had to do was wail as loud as she could, and my parents gave her what ever she wanted just to shut her up. I noticed that she still cried like a baby when she was 12 years old. Not tears so much as loud, screaming voice. Her mouth was open as wide as she could, like a baby bird. She also lied, and got away with it. She tattled on me, my parents chose to believe her over me, so they reinforced her lying habit. Early on, she was the good child and I was the bad child. (I come from a family of splitters, where people are saints or devils, but no in between, it drives me nuts). When she turned into an adult, she either tried to or succeeded in driving the rest of us kids out. Told us we should be ashamed as adults to live at home and reminded us as we approached 14, 15, 16, 17 and 18 on a daily basis that we should have jobs and living on our own. She didn't work and lived at home for a long time. She took over the house and my parents by the time she was 14. She told the rest of us what to wear, what to eat and started accusing us of things we did not do, then proceeded to punish us with her rage attacks. My parents let her and watched. She made their job easier. Everyday when I was 14, this is what I heard. "you'll be 16 soon and should look for a job." Day after day after day. I felt like I got robbed of being 14 and 15 due to all the daily pressuring of her to make me grow up faster so she can get rid of me. I had a job as a teenager, but not because of her. She tried to get our father to take my paychecks away from me. She didn't work, but she wanted a car but didn't have the money for it. Instead of admitting her selfish goals, she hid them behind, "this is a family project so everyone has to contribute." She wanted a car to "relieve the burden off of mother from driving us kids everywhere." I worked, and I had a car payment. She didn't work but wanted to use my money for her to get her own car, "for mom's sake." I saw it for what it was. Years later, she still tries to do "family projects" but her and my parents are the ones always benefitting, and everyone else always has to pay. She uses all our money to buy something for our parents, then tells my parents "I did this for you. Here's my gift mom and dad." (not we, but "I"). I pretty much felt like their ATM. I tested my boundaries as an adult and said "no". She begged me, guilt-tripped me, accused me of being selfish. Her definition of selfish refers to non-givers. She apparently doesn't consider takers infected with entitlement as being selfish. She is like a communist dictator. She reminds me of Hitler. Aren't they usually the first child or the last child. They are the special ones, and all the middle children are lumped together as a group. Do you remember that rattle they bought you when you were 1 years old? It has strings attached. You now owe them back. They don't ask you how you feel, they tell you how you feel. They just CAN"T RELATE, CAN"T hear you. Child-- "I got chosen for a project." N-mom-- "I bet that made you feel so special." Child-- "actually, it's a lot of hard work and nobody else wanted to do it. I'm dreading it." N-mom-- "I am so proud of you." Child-- "This isn't an award, mom, this is the grunge work nobody else wanted." N-mom-- "they picked you because they trusted you. Do you know what the weather is supposed to be like tomorrow?" Child-- "no, they picked me because I was the only one who had an open sched/" N-mom-- "It looks stormy." Child-- (sigh!) N-mom-- "oh honey what's wrong?" Child-- "nothing. just have a lot of work cut out for me now." N-mom-- "What do you mean? what work?" Child-- "the project" N-mom-- "what project?" Child-- "MOM! I already told you." N-mom-- "Don't you yell at me. I didn't do anything wrong. You didn't tell me about a project. I am tired of your lies." The N I was involved with never mentioned his mother unless I asked and I never got a real answer. Once after he had had a lot to drink we got onto the mother topic and he confessed his mother was just his mother...she had no real significance except that of running a matriarchal household. Dad was a quiet guy who lived according to mum's rules wishes. When he was going overseas to see them he said, "I suppose I should give mum a hug when I see her". That summed it up for me. I just informed my N husband's mother about some of his risk-taking behavior. She defended, denied and blamed others. And congratulated herself on the enabling behavior that helps keep my husband believing that his unacceptable behavior is normal. His value in his parents' eyes is based on his achievements, (their bragging rights), and any misconduct is explained away or ignored. He is the result of "overweening, smothering, spoiling, overvaluing, and idolizing the child". Every time he has some insight, (I have no idea why I would sabotage our marriage/my career/our security by doing this...), his mother an father are quick to blame someone else. Hence, drinking to excess and ateempting to seduce a junior, much younger woman on a business trip and being so hung-over that his almost missed his meeting is explained by his father as "an error in judgment, used by militant lesbians at work to undermine him politically" and an offer to pay our bills should he be fired for misconduct. Their need for him to be perfect and blameless is pathological. And if he stops believing them, then he who is he? His mom is an Adult Child of an Alcoholic. (Dad just liked to drink, but everyone loved him. It was all mom's fault.) I think her need for everything to be "perfect" and her own husband being quite insecure/N, has created a situation where you never feel valued for who you are, because her interactive style is so based in fantasy-land. She actually praises her adult son for getting dressed in the morning. The cause is the mother's developmental relationship with her son. She is first imtimate female he learns from. If she is not nurturing and loving, he has no role model. he learns how to self-love. there is no mirroring here so the only reflection he can copy is his own. The parent is to blame for the son's lack of trust which is at the root of the dysfunction: conscious awareness or not, all women are the same; they are not to be trusted, so have your way with them. mother was utilitarian with me so that must be love. if you never had an orgasm, you fake it until you do, right? the same with love....it takes a very special strong woman with strength to endure and teach a man how to love who never learned as a child. it she can handle the stress and frustration of the abuse, then eventually, an intelligent man gets it...but is it worth it? it could take years to learn how to love another person. Annie Sullivan took the abuse from Helen Keller, but in the end she taught her to behave humanely and to speak. she almost gave up many times. it takes a very special person to reach an unreachable star. my narc and his mother seem to get on very well and are very close, he wouldn't have anything said against her.although he does say some bad things about her himself, on the whole its usually good. he is the youngest and still lives at home most of the time even though he is mid 30`s. i have noticed that he speaks to her terribly, expecting her to wait on him hand and foot, he tells her what to buy, what and when to cook,when she can go on holiday, in fact controls everything she does. if she disagrees with him he is very moody and she will change her opinion to agree with what ever he says. she doesn't know anything about npd but has spoken to me often over her concerns about him. i have touched on the subject with her but she just tells him what i say and it makes problems for myself so I've given up now! I think some friendus here misunderstand what a narcissist is. As the son of a covert narcissist mother, I have done enough reading to see that a narcissist can never really change, they are always right and 'gaslight' away merrily when they are held accountable for their destructive patterns.My sister and I are very close to our father, and for his sake we keep in good contact with our parents but keep our mother at emotional arms-length. In order to keep my life and my family sane I have had to, in many ways, mourn the passing of the mother I never really had. Whilst she's still alive. She really was unfit to be a mother, her aggressive and mean-spirited neediness has interfered with our lives fairly profoundly and placed strain on our own relationships... It took years away from home for my sister and I to both to finally admit to each other it was all wrong, and right from the start. I have seen a few friendus above that imply that someone being aloof or indifferent about their N-mother seems narcissistic, but you might want to consider that emotional distance from an N is probably the only way of coping with them short of cutting ALL contact with them, and forever. I cannot state to you enough the sheer emotional turmoil a covert- N mother will put you through from age zero, and I will do anything I can to protect myself from that poison, especially now I have a small family. 33 years later I just can't find it in me to care about a person who never really cared for me. Am I a narcissist, or am I just protecting myself and my family?