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Asked by Todd L Ross in
Marriage
Relationships
Divorce

People whose marriages made it less than a year, why did you get divorced?

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September 03, 2019 6:01PM

“I was married in August and left by Christmas 2009,” wrote fieldoftrees. “[I] dated him for 4.5 years beforehand.”

“There were so many warning signs, and he got more controlling after we were engaged. I say ‘more’ because I didn't realize he was controlling at the time. It is always so gradual.”

“He demanded his engagement ring back several times,” fieldoftrees said. “He started telling me he didn't like my best friend (who hated him). [He] didn't want let me to maintain any relationships with my guy friends.”

“[He] didn't like me wearing low-cut shirts or tightish pants. (Note that I am quite conservative.) He decided to accept a PhD without telling me, after I'd accepted my own position out of town. I had to withdraw my acceptance so we could stay together.”

“In the time we were separated before divorce, he followed me, recorded phone calls, showed up at my parents’ house at 3 a.m. two hours from his house, showed up at my best friend’s apartment when he knew I was there, and slept with his students.”

“That's just what I remember. I know I've repressed some of it. I was terrified of him. Since then, I've dealt with severe anxiety issues and I have a hair-trigger fight-or-flight response. I'm shaking from nerves even thinking about this.”

“[The] best decision of my life was to leave him.”

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September 03, 2019 6:00PM

“I was married for almost eight months,” wrote Samisapirate. “We were together for three years or so beforehand.”

“I was going through a lot ... in my own little world (my close friend/boss for four years dying, my parents splitting up, etc.), and we were paying for everything ourselves. I told myself things were wacky because we were both under tons of stress.”

“She lost her job (where she was making almost twice as much as me per hour) two months after the wedding and refused to get another one. So here I am, trying to support us on $8.75 an hour.”

“She always drank a lot, but started drinking even more. She got mean and nasty, and everything just spiraled out of control. We got married in September. She moved out in April.”

“There's more to the story, but this is long enough as it is.”

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September 03, 2019 5:59PM

“I was acquaintances with this [woman] from high school who invited me to her bachelorette party,” wrote _enza. “I was surprised she invited me, because I had [only] met her fiancé once.”

“We were never that close, me being a nerdy introvert, [and her] and her group of friends being 'Woo!' party girls. At the bachelorette [party] ... the bride-to-be seemed to be having the time of her life.”

“At one point, all the other girls hit the dance floor, and the bride-to-be and I were sitting alone at the table. A serious look comes over her face…”

“She turns to me, looks me dead in the eye, and says, "Do you think if I disappeared tonight, Steve would hunt me down and kill me?’”

“I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a second before she quickly said, ‘Nevermind,’ jumped up, and started dancing with her friends. She did marry him. They were divorced in less than three months, and she moved across the country.”

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September 03, 2019 5:57PM

“She stopped loving me for who I am,” wrote That_One_Guy_Inc. “She kept trying to make me into something I'm not.”

“She would always be questioning me, belittling me, and emasculating me. I got so used to acting the part she wanted me to be, I almost forgot who I really was. She always made me feel ‘needed’ but never ‘wanted.’”

“At one point, she told me she thinks she might have missed out on parts of life because we got married so young. Then [she said] that she wasn't sure she loved me anymore.”

“All of this, and I am the bad guy because I asked for the divorce.”

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September 03, 2019 5:56PM

“My parents knew a couple who had spent several years together before marrying. [They were] fairly conservative Christians,” wrote explorerbear.

“After they got married, the husband essentially peeled off the mask and became kind of a [jerk]. They had a kid, and she didn't want to leave him because she was [told] ‘it's sin.’ They stayed together for a long time until she got out. [This] doesn't happen a lot, I hope, but it definitely happens.”

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September 03, 2019 5:54PM

“[My marriage] was just under two years. Sorry for not meeting the criteria 100 percent,” wrote BandOfDonkeys.

“Our problem was an underlying incompatibility that I wasn't fully aware of. I'm not overly affectionate, and she very much needed that [affection].”

“Every time our relationship would get to a point where she was ready to make a split, we'd cross another milestone ... and she'd be back on cloud nine without a worry in the world.”

“I didn't know about this roller coaster she was [on] until it was far too late. By the time we separated and sought counseling, she was already checked out …”

“[She] unintentionally gave me a dose of my own medicine by not being responsive to communication [or] intimacy, or receptive to spending quality time together.”

“I was under-sensitive, she was over-sensitive, and she wasn't able to effectively communicate that to me until the USS Marriage had smashed into the rocks,” the Reddit user concluded.

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September 03, 2019 4:30PM

“Not me, but my mother got divorced six months after her first marriage,” wrote brolita. “They were having problems [and] went to a marriage counselor, who ... told my mom that her husband needed one-on-one counseling, but that my mom was fine and could go home.”

“After their divorce finalized, another wedding—[between my mom’s ex-husband and] the marriage counselor—was in the works.”

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September 03, 2019 4:29PM

“My sister had a friend [who] got divorced really quickly after her marriage ([fewer than six] months I think),” wrote a Reddit user whose username has since been deleted.

“The whole thing was rushed. They dated for less than a year. She married him because she was religious and thought she was receiving a spiritual prompting.”

“After the marriage, they didn't act like newlyweds at all. [There was] little to no holding hands. When they were sitting on a couch they had a foot of space between them, etc. It wasn't long before they realized it wasn't going to work out.”

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September 03, 2019 4:28PM

“My best friend at the time got married, and within two months, his wife left for the military, wrote vertekal. “They were together [for] about two years beforehand. [They] broke up a few times and had a pretty rocky relationship.”

“Getting married was their way of giving a middle finger to the world, [saying] that they were determined to stay together no matter what.”

“From what I remember (this was a long time ago), she was going to join the military, and then he was going to move to wherever she was stationed to live with her.”

“He drove up to visit her as soon as he was allowed to. He quickly realized he hated the place and hated the idea of having to move around every time she had to move. They got the marriage annulled or whatever soon after that.”

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September 03, 2019 4:25PM

“[It was] just a hair over a year before we split up,” wrote SilverCityStreet of her marriage. “And frankly, it was like he became a different person after the marriage license was signed.”

“I told him from the beginning: No kids. He started pressuring me to get pregnant immediately. ...I eventually stopped so much as touching him close to the end.”

“He didn't tell me how much debt he really had from his prior degree,” continued SilverCityStreet. “He filed for bankruptcy. You can guess where my credit score stood after that.”

“He became increasingly jealous over the fact that I had friends. Not just male, but female friends. He'd demand to be shown the phone. He'd not be happy if I would text my friends and he wasn't privy to it.”

“He would make comments [about] how I'm a secret lesbian because I spend time with my female friends. He'd make remarks about how I don't need to see my mother. He'd just slowly and subtly guilt-trip me for not giving him all of my time and attention.”

“He'd constantly tell me ‘You're too young to know what you want.’”

“[He’d say,] ‘You're delusional.’ [He’d say,] ‘You don't know what you're talking about’ when I had an opinion contrary to his.”

“And [he was] constantly, constantly in my personal space. It would [get] to the point where I'd lie to him about my class schedule and work schedule just so I could be alone for a couple [of] hours, and contact my friends without him hovering over my shoulder.”

“I'd pick up extra shifts. Anything to just be alone for more than a second at a time.

And he was nothing like that when we started dating. Not in the least. [He was the] sweetest, most thoughtful, intelligent guy you'd meet.”

“If he cheated, I don't know and don't care. But no one gets between me and my friends, and no one belittles me for having an opinion.”

“In retrospect, I'm sure I was no prize either. I certainly was naive in thinking that life would be better if I had my own household and life ... but frankly, in retrospect, that's the one thing I'm glad wrapped up clean and easy. He's a memory, and stays that way.”

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September 03, 2019 4:24PM

“A girl I went to high school with dated a guy for four or five months before getting engaged,” wrote always_bored. “They had a wedding, [which I] hear was an absolute hillbilly [clusterbumble].”

“Like, his side of the family [was] making catcalls during the ceremony, directed at her, and other inappropriate comments. They were divorced before the year was out because she wanted a baby right away, and he found out he was sterile.”

“She left him so fast there was a hole in the door. Less than four months [later], she [was] pregnant from someone else. I think she just really wanted [a baby].”

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September 03, 2019 4:22PM

“The wife cheated on her new husband two months after their wedding this summer,” wrote FlacidOrca. “They were a young couple, and her parents chipped in a lot of money to help fund a rather expensive wedding.”

“I imagine her parents were just as [upset] as her soon-to-be ex-husband. I wish I knew what was going through her head, but it was probably absolutely nothing because the whole thing was just dumb!”

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September 03, 2019 4:21PM

“I had a buddy who got married in the Navy,” wrote a Reddit user whose username has since been deleted. “Immediately after getting married, his wife told him she had an affair while he was in boot camp.”

“He had the marriage annulled the next day. He kind of seemed like too nice a guy ... who probably married the first girl he dated, yet had enough pride not to let her walk on him. So he has my respect.”

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September 03, 2019 4:18PM

“I went to school with someone who found out on the honeymoon [that] her new husband had been having a long-term affair,” wrote PhantomTireBuyer. “She was surprisingly cool with everything and never seemed upset.”

“She even said she was happy she found out then rather than five years down the line, or when they had children.”